This is way beyond my experience level, but it sounds like you're trying to buy the proverbial "second bike first". My experience has been that rarely works out well. I think that before you lay out big bucks for a high end bike, you should walk before you run. Spend a season on something that will get you by, THEN start a list of desirable traits the NEXT bike will have. If your first bike is a smart buy, made with resale in mind, it shouldn't be that expensive when considering what it will bring when sold - IF - it's not handed off to a family member.
Just a couple of thoughts regarding some of your questions/points. First, riding a geared hub bike is undeniably brain dead simple. 2 issues with them come to mind here for the stuff you're discussing. First, I think the biggest issue is the controllers that come on bikes like that. They're generally junk for what you are considering. They have none of the necessary finesse required here. You could dodge that bullet, possibly, with an aftermarket KT controller, but you would still be faced with a 2nd issue - marginal power. This point especially true if you're a bigger rider.
Regarding the Bafang mid drives, those with UART type interfaces (BBS02, BBSHD, and earlier Ultra's) those are completely adjustable when it comes to things like stop and start delays, spool up times, throttle sensitivity, and on and on. Point being, as they are delivered, it would be no surprise if they felt clumsy in technical stuff. For those with the patience to figure out what's going on, pretty sure there IS the potential to dial them in to something worth considering for this kind of play. I would not totally discount them. One thing for sure, especially when talking the bigger BBSHD and the ULTRA, you will never be lacking for power, and they are built like a brick out house.......
Regarding tires, from what I have seen there's nothing wrong with the 2.2" you're used to, but popular at the moment are the "mid" size tires in the 2.4"-2.8" or maybe even 3". I run them on my bikes as they are awesome from a rolling resistance standpoint, sturdy from a flat prevention standpoint, and they don't need a lot of air pressure so they ride great!