Just for fun...

[Stefan Mikes]

People on social media platforms are often like-minded.

STOP IT

 

[ChezCheese:)]

@ChezCheese:) -- STOP
Funny thing is I can understand many of these jokes but not all of them!

I can't stop!!!! Once you start you hear them in your head like having your own comic in your brain...

 

[Stefan Mikes]

I can't stop!!!! Once you start you hear them in your head like having your own comic in your brain...

Like, "Once you POP you can't STOP"?

 

[DaveMatthews]

Both Fedex And UPS suck.
They should merge and be called FedUPS...

 

[Jeremy McCreary]

"Be careful there, old timer - - you might break your leg," the whippersnapper said humorously.

Change "leg" to "arm" and you have a good one here. The humerus connects shoulder to elbow.

 

[ChezCheese:)]

See how old I'm getting? I forgot that!! Changed! Thank you!

 

[PedalUma]

These are the premium airport stickers because they have a USB port. The FBI just said that people should stop charging their phones in public places. Which reminded me of these.

 

[JedidiahStolzfus]

Something to remember:

When this little piggie is going to market, he's not coming back home.

 

[ChezCheese:)]

People with large feet have greater understanding.
People with large hands are handsome.

 

[ChezCheese:)]

He undertook the task of notifying the next of kin. "I'm afraid she's dead," he said gravely.

 

[Taylor57]

He undertook the task of notifying the next of kin. "I'm afraid she's dead," he said gravely.

I just dropped the toothpaste said Chez crestfallenly. ( googled adverb jokes!)

 

[DaveMatthews]

To say he had the IQ of a broomstick would be quite the sweeping statement...

 

[JedidiahStolzfus]

Another thread reminded me of this joke:
An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.
Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.
Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.
That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse. That's cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!
Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.
Well, dear, what exactly did he say?
He said the reflector is broken.
I can fix that in two minutes. What else?
I'm not sure, Jacob ... something about the emergency brake.

 

[Stefan Mikes]

'I dislike the architecture of this new hospital. It is so... clinical'.

 

[ChezCheese:)]

"I miss Geppetto," said Pinocchio woodenly.

 

[ChezCheese:)]

"I'll send him a bill he will never forget!" the electrician swore powerfully.

"I heard the echo again," she repeated.

"That's a very wide angle lens," Tom commented obliquely.

"A very acute observation," Helen noted sharply.

"This vodka is the best!" Tom declared absolutely.

 

[Jeremy McCreary]

"No no no, where are my keys?? I need to pick up those antibiotics NOW!" he said feverishly.

 

[DaveMatthews]

"He's such a has bean" said the new coffee salesperson...

 

[JedidiahStolzfus]

We all know about penile colonies. Can someone tell me where the cliterile colonies are location?

 

[PedalUma]

Redundant Lee, Redundant Lee; why go on and on so redundantly?