Just for fun...

[ChezCheese:)]

"I've joined a nudist colony," she went on seamlessly.

"I'm going back to Israel," Tom said relevantly.

"Have you bought your ticket yet?" asked Helen.

"No, I prefer to fly standby," declared Tom unreservedly.

 

[Stefan Mikes]

"I'm going back to Israel," Tom said relevantly.

That is a great one!

 

[DaveMatthews]

AT&T just phoned it in...

 

[PedalUma]

'Dad, You need new tires,' said the teen driver sk_______.

 

[JGcycle]

'Dad, You need new tires,' said the teen driver sk_______.

Skittishly?

 

[ChezCheese:)]

Santos could be relied upon to tell untruths over and over again.

"Robbery Suspect Has Tattooed Forehead," announced the headline.

The truck driver was semi-conscious after the accident.

The new church steeple was very inspiring.

I will badger them, said the Eagle Scout.

"You'll just have to make of it what you will," said the executor.

 

[JedidiahStolzfus]

The biggest drawback that I've found from having Amish friends is that I can't text them a picture of something and ask them if they need it.

 

[Art Deco]

"I'll send him a bill he will never forget!" the electrician swore powerfully.

"I heard the echo again," she repeated.

"That's a very wide angle lens," Tom commented obliquely.

"A very acute observation," Helen noted sharply.

"This vodka is the best!" Tom declared absolutely.

There are variations w/o using an adverb that are just as bad. This example is from Stephen King...
"I am the plumber" he said with a flush.

 

[Stefan Mikes]

The biggest drawback that I've found from having Amish friends is that I can't text them a picture of something and ask them if they need it.

The Amish not using smartphones? Just asking.

 

[Art Deco]

The Amish not using smartphones? Just asking.

No phones at all. Usually they can use a neighbor's phone once a week to return calls that came in the past week at most.

 

[JedidiahStolzfus]

No phones at all. Usually they can use a neighbor's phone once a week to return calls that came in the past week at most.

Wrong. Almost every home/farm has a landline. If they're running a business many time they have what they call a "black box" which is a cell phone type transceiver with a regular landline type phone attached to it. It's battery powered and I've seen them mounted in lunch boxes, briefcases, toolboxes and other non-descript type enclosures.

Some married men have cell phones, but not the smart phone, most of them are the older flip type phones. Just about every school teacher has a cell phone, which came about after the Nickel Mines shooting a few years ago. They recognize the need for the safety of the kids, since at that incident a young boy ran to a neighboring farm to use the phone. Many of the teens do have smart phone, but when they're done with rumspringa or when they get married, the smart phones are gone and they get a more "traditional" phone.

I called my friend yesterday morning about something I wanted to give him. He called me back around 8:30pm, so I guess he was busy all day. I know a family where the father, and the two oldest boys are firefighters. There was a huge fire in their area a few months ago and I texted the oldest boy and said "I know you guys are at the fire, please becareful and get home safe". He texted me back pictures of the scene.

I've joked with my wife that more amish have my cell phone number than english. There still some more traditional Amish that still have the "phone hut", which is a small shack at the end of the farm lane, normally out near the road, and there are still some that don't have phones at all, but that's getting more and more rare as they've come to realize that phones (landlines) are important.

 

[Art Deco]

Wrong. Almost every home/farm has a landline. If they're running a business many time they have what they call a "black box" which is a cell phone type transceiver with a regular landline type phone attached to it. It's battery powered and I've seen them mounted in lunch boxes, briefcases, toolboxes and other non-descript type enclosures.

Some married men have cell phones, but not the smart phone, most of them are the older flip type phones. Just about every school teacher has a cell phone, which came about after the Nickel Mines shooting a few years ago. They recognize the need for the safety of the kids, since at that incident a young boy ran to a neighboring farm to use the phone. Many of the teens do have smart phone, but when they're done with rumspringa or when they get married, the smart phones are gone and they get a more "traditional" phone.

I called my friend yesterday morning about something I wanted to give him. He called me back around 8:30pm, so I guess he was busy all day. I know a family where the father, and the two oldest boys are firefighters. There was a huge fire in their area a few months ago and I texted the oldest boy and said "I know you guys are at the fire, please becareful and get home safe". He texted me back pictures of the scene.

I've joked with my wife that more amish have my cell phone number than english. There still some more traditional Amish that still have the "phone hut", which is a small shack at the end of the farm lane, normally out near the road, and there are still some that don't have phones at all, but that's getting more and more rare as they've come to realize that phones (landlines) are important.

Again my knowledge of the brethren is mostly limited to Mennonites, where the "phone hut" is usually out by a barn (that may be wired to a generator) if they have one at all. Most do not.

I am working with all Mennonite contractors on a recent job, and I have to drive a half hour to their place to talk about the job every time something urgent comes up. YMMV.

 

[JedidiahStolzfus]

Again my knowledge of the brethren is mostly limited to Mennonites, where the "phone hut" is usually out by a barn (that may be wired to a generator) if they have one at all. Most do not.

I am working with all Mennonite contractors on a recent job, and I have to drive a half hour to their place to talk about the job every time something urgent comes up. YMMV.

You working with black buggy or black bumper mennonites? I'm guessing not reformed. Some of those black buggy mennonites are far more strict than the old order Amish. Brethren I've found are far less strict than all the other groups. It's always fun when I end up talking to someone not from the area and they think that everyone that's wearing a head covering or dressed plain is Amish.

Every dairy farm I've been on has generators running since they have to keep the milk cold until the milk truck shows up, plus it runs the milking equipment. No, Amish don't milk by hand, no way they could milk 40 to 60 cows twice a day by hand. Milk trucks show up about every other day, and they take 700+ gallons per pickup. There are hundreds of diary farms across the county here, that's a lot of milk moving around every day. Land-O-Lakes buys a lot of the milk from this area for cheese, butter and other dairy products, but not directly for milk.

 

[Art Deco]

You working with black buggy or black bumper mennonites? I'm guessing not reformed. Some of those black buggy mennonites are far more strict than the old order Amish. Brethren I've found are far less strict than all the other groups. It's always fun when I end up talking to someone not from the area and they think that everyone that's wearing a head covering or dressed plain is Amish.

Every dairy farm I've been on has generators running since they have to keep the milk cold until the milk truck shows up, plus it runs the milking equipment. No, Amish don't milk by hand, no way they could milk 40 to 60 cows twice a day by hand. Milk trucks show up about every other day, and they take 700+ gallons per pickup. There are hundreds of diary farms across the county here, that's a lot of milk moving around every day. Land-O-Lakes buys a lot of the milk from this area for cheese, butter and other dairy products, but not directly for milk.

Sorry but like most "Anglish" in my area, I can't differenciate between the variations of plain folks. I refer to them all as Brethren. But in over 20 years here I have only seen one buggy that wasn't black, and have never heard the term "black bumper" before, so I guess "black buggy" is it.

In case that sounds negative, remember that I chose to work with these folks because I like them. They are usually honest and competent, unlike the general run of the population .

 

[JedidiahStolzfus]

Sorry but like most "Anglish" in my area, I can't differenciate between the variations of plain folks. I refer to them all as Brethren. But in over 20 years here I have only seen one buggy that wasn't black, and have never heard the term "black bumper" before, so I guess "black buggy" is it.

Black buggies in PA are mennonite, Grey buggies are Amish. Black bumper is a group of mennonites that drive cars but all the chrome has been painted black. They're getting fewer and fewer because most of them have gone to reformed where they'll drive cars of any color. Brethren is a completely different group from Amish and Mennonite. The men dress much like Mennonite men, but the women generally wear jean material ankle length skirts and wear a black head covering that's not the bonnet style the Amish or Mennonites wear. Mennonite women will wear "plain" dresses, but normally they're a floral print and the hair covering is a single "hump" bonnet. The Amish women wear solid earth tone color dresses with a black frock and a double "hump" bonnet, or if it's cold a heavy black pleated bonnet that fits over the white one.

There is a very small group of brown buggy Amish out in the middle part of the state, like Franklin and bordering counties. They're very few in numbers though.

 

[Art Deco]

Back to humor, sort of. When I meet a new person that I will want to contact again and we exchange contact info, my notes will often have " YAY" for a last name. That stands for "Yet Another Yoder".

 

[JedidiahStolzfus]

Back to humor, sort of. When I meet a new person that I will want to contact again and we exchange contact info, my notes will often have " YAY" for a last name. That stands for "Yet Another Yoder".

The vans are often called Yoder Toters. For me, I have to put names in plus the road they live on because there are so man Daniel Stoltzfus, or Elam King, or Ivan Fisher, that they get identified by the road they live on. Of course that doesn't work when Samuel Fisher, is the neighbor of Samuel Fisher, and they're cousins.

 

[Art Deco]

The vans are often called Yoder Toters. For me, I have to put names in plus the road they live on because there are so man Daniel Stoltzfus, or Elam King, or Ivan Fisher, that they get identified by the road they live on. Of course that doesn't work when Samuel Fisher, is the neighbor of Samuel Fisher, and they're cousins.

Both of whom are married to a woman named Margaret with the same maiden name ...

 

[JedidiahStolzfus]

Both of whom are married to a woman named Margaret with the same maiden name ...

Well, not in this case I know the one family were school sweethearts, and I have a difficult time pronouncing her name. Because the society is pretty much closed to new blood, when a couple announces an engagement, it's up to the bishop to determine if the marriage can be allowed. He does the research to determine that they're not closely related. It can get confusing even for them as to who is related to whom. Close relation marriages are not intended the way man people think.

There is fresh blood coming in thought. I met one woman that quite obviously was not born Amish. But she's dating an amish man. It appeared as though she's trying to learn and live their ways. She still has some things to learn, because it was easy to pickup that she's english.

 

[Art Deco]

Well, not in this case I know the one family were school sweethearts, and I have a difficult time pronouncing her name. Because the society is pretty much closed to new blood, when a couple announces an engagement, it's up to the bishop to determine if the marriage can be allowed. He does the research to determine that they're not closely related. It can get confusing even for them as to who is related to whom. Close relation marriages are not intended the way man people think.

There is fresh blood coming in thought. I met one woman that quite obviously was not born Amish. But she's dating an amish man. It appeared as though she's trying to learn and live their ways. She still has some things to learn, because it was easy to pickup that she's english.

Yeah, I hear about closely related marriages often. North of me in the old coal mountains area there is (suspossedly) a town so famously inbred that medical researchers have done studies of genetics there . Not Amish, but all blue eyed blondes.

A friend of mine tells of walking into a bar there where he met three (apparently unrelated) men who were all over 6 foot tall, blonde, blue eyed, and wall eyed ...