Just for fun...

[DaveMatthews]

In B.C. we watch the Superb Owl.

 

[fooferdoggie]

Half Time show is Rihhana. Biggest stage on Super Bowl Half time show ever recorded.

biggest waste of money. I can't believe how much they spent on the Jesus commercial how many people that truly needed the money would that have helped?

 

[Mr. Coffee]

I don't really follow basketball.

 

[Taylor57]

Halftime show sucked. I went back for more deviled eggs and wings!

 

[ChezCheese:)]

At a party, a group of guests discussed whether a glass of champagne was half full or half empty.

"It's half full," said the optimist.

"It's half empty," said the pessimist.

"You must be blind," said the optometrist.

"It's actually both," said the realist.

"Are you sure? It could be neither," teased the illusionist.

"It's the best of all possible conditions," asserted the idealist.

"I think it's somewhere in the middle," said the centrist.

"It makes no difference," grumped the fatalist.

"I prefer the terms demi-full and semi-empty," commented the euphemist.

"Half EMPTY or half FULL??" shouted the absolutist.

"Depends on who's looking," remarked the relativist.

"You're missing something," said the lobotomist.

"Half a glass of champagne is plenty!" said the minimalist.

"More than enough," agreed the moralist.

"It's just a bit of bubbly old grape juice," said the reductionist.

"It's fantastic! Fabulous! Unbelievable!" enthused the sensationalist.

"It's bad for society," said the prohibitionist.

"It is a growing problem," said the agronomist.

"This is not a new story," said the novelist.

"God knows," said the deist.

"Let's not fight about it," said the pacifist.

"Only half the calories of a full glass of champagne," pointed out the nutritionist.

"I'll take two," piped up the bigamist.

"Whatever. It's MY champagne! (Looks really good with my outfit, too...)," declared the narcissist.

"Too late for you, because while you all were arguing about it, I drank it," confessed the opportunist with a grin.

"I was just pulling your leg," said the humorist

 

[Taylor57]

At a party, a group of guests discussed whether a glass of champagne was half full or half empty.

"It's half full," said the optimist.

"It's half empty," said the pessimist.

"You must be blind," said the optometrist.

"It's actually both," said the realist.

"Are you sure? It could be neither," teased the illusionist.

"It's the best of all possible conditions," asserted the idealist.

"I think it's somewhere in the middle," said the centrist.

"It makes no difference," grumped the fatalist.

"I prefer the terms demi-full and semi-empty," commented the euphemist.

"Half EMPTY or half FULL??" shouted the absolutist.

"Depends on who's looking," remarked the relativist.

"You're missing something," said the lobotomist.

"Half a glass of champagne is plenty!" said the minimalist.

"More than enough," agreed the moralist.

"It's just a bit of bubbly old grape juice," said the reductionist.

"It's fantastic! Fabulous! Unbelievable!" enthused the sensationalist.

"It's bad for society," said the prohibitionist.

"It is a growing problem," said the agronomist.

"This is not a new story," said the novelist.

"God knows," said the deist.

"Let's not fight about it," said the pacifist.

"Only half the calories of a full glass of champagne," pointed out the nutritionist.

"I'll take two," piped up the bigamist.

"Whatever. It's MY champagne! (Looks really good with my outfit, too...)," declared the narcissist.

"Too late for you all, because while you all were arguing about it, I drank it," confessed the opportunist with a grin.

"This has been great fun," said the humorist

"No good without a throttle" bellowed the throttleist!

 

[ChezCheese:)]

"Looks a little flat," worried the cyclist...

 

[Horace71]

I have a daughter going to school to be a PA.
Sent her this to study.

 

[ChezCheese:)]

I wonder if lip readers really do see multiple alternative words when they watch people:

 

[Jeremy McCreary]

I have a daughter going to school to be a PA.
Sent her this to study.

What, you can't read that??

During my residency, I often encountered chart notes from the head of gastroenterology, a very sharp guy with the most precise handwriting in the hospital by far. (A low bar, I know.) Every letter was clearly and consistently formed with calligraphic quality. And for people (like doctors ) who routinely put out long handwritten documents, that's very hard to maintain.

Problem was, he'd apparently made up his own alphabet. Translating it into English script took cryptographic skills. Result: A beautiful but effectively illegible hand.

 

[JedidiahStolzfus]

What, you can't read that??

During my residency, I often encountered chart notes from the head of gastroenterology, a very sharp guy with the most precise handwriting in the hospital by far. (A low bar, I know.) Every letter was clearly and consistently formed with calligraphic quality. And for people (like doctors ) who routinely put out long handwritten documents, that's very hard to maintain.

Problem was, he'd apparently made up his own alphabet. Translating it into English script took cryptographic skills. Result: A beautiful but effectively illegible hand.

Was his name Voynich?

 

[Jeremy McCreary]

I wonder if lip readers really do see multiple alternative words when they watch people:

Brilliant! Scary how true it rings.

 

[Jeremy McCreary]

Was his name Voynich?

No, but he could easily have been a descendant.

Had to look up Voynich. The NSA has apparently taken an interest in his secret script -- maybe for code-breaking practice?

THE VOYNICH MANUSCRIPT https://www.nsa.gov/portals/75/docu...ch-journals/voynich-manuscript-mysterious.pdf

 

[Horace71]

Wanted: Someone to brush my teeth with.
9 out of 10 Dentists say brushing alone will not prevent cavities.
No weirdos.

 

[Horace71]

Overheard two ladies at the next table discussing their sex lives.
One says hers has been okay since her husband started taking viagra.
The other one asked if he could get it over the counter.
The first on says..."If he takes two he can!"

 

[ChezCheese:)]

Nurse came in and said, "Doc, there's a man in the waiting room who thinks he's invisible. What should I tell him?"

"Tell him I can't see him today," replied the doctor.

 

[ChezCheese:)]

The small town's sheriff was also its veterinarian. One night the phone rang and his wife answered.

An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?"

"Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?"

"Both. We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it."

 

[Viking1]

Doing some work on the truck, I opened the air box:

Showed the wife, she asked if I cleaned it out. Told her "no, the squirrels gotta eat too"

Put a pine tree air freshener in the cab and then remind her of the pine cones in the air box.

 

[Viking1]

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

 

[PedalUma]

I can divide any number by zero almost perfectly.