Pick up a
Programing Cable and download the
pc software or you can use the
phone app which will require an OTG Adapter for your phone.
There's quite a few threads on here or just search BBSHD Programing through Google for an explanation of settings.
Hacker's Guide
For your immediate concerns.
View attachment 96097
On page 2: Pedal Assist
Set the Start Degree to 1 for immediate power up on pedaling
Set the Stop Delay to 1 (not sure if it accepts 0) for immediate power down when you stop pedaling.
Once you tweak these and other settings I think you'll be happy with the motor.
I know how frustrating it is not getting what you expected... but with very poor translation from Chinese, a little bit of extra effort and research is required by the purchaser of these products.