Just for fun...

[JGcycle]

 

[ChezCheese:)]

A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat. He noticed another man in a small boat open his tackle box and take out a mirror. Being curious, the man rowed over and asked, "What is the mirror for?"

"That's my secret way to catch fish," said the other man. "Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim to the surface. Then I just reach down with a net and pull them into the boat."

"Wow! Does that really work?"

"You bet it does."

"Would you be interested in selling that mirror? I'll give you $30 for it."

"Well, okay."

After the money was transferred, the city fisherman asked, "By the way, how many fish have you caught this week?"

"You're the sixth," he said.

 

[ChezCheese:)]

One rainy Sunday afternoon, a young couple were on their way to their church to get married. On the way there, their car lost control and slammed into a telephone pole - killing them both instantly.

The couple soon found themselves standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, welcoming them to Heaven. The young woman asks Peter if they could get married in Heaven, since their time on Earth was cut short. He replies that he'll get back with them on that request.

A month later, St. Peter finds them and announces that they can - in fact - get married in Heaven.

To this, the woman asks, "Just wondering, if things don't work out, will we be able to get a divorce?"

With a stern look in his eye, Peter blurts out, "Look lady, it took me a month to find a preacher up here... you really think I'm gonna find a lawyer?"

 

[PedalUma]

In the building where I have my workshop there are a bunch of businesses. Across the hall is a Taylor. Yesterday I was in the main lobby when a young woman walked in with a dress on her arm. She asked, 'Do you know were the place is for altercations?'

 

[danielrhall]

In the building where I have my workshop there are a bunch of businesses. Across the hall is a Taylor. Yesterday I was in the main lobby when a young woman walked in with a dress on her arm. She asked, 'Do you know were the place is for altercations?'

"I'd like to have an argument, please."

 

[Taylor57]

View attachment 151244

I got 2 tickets for the 2023 Masters for Christmas, both top hospitality admissions. The person that got them for me didn’t realize it was going to be on the same day as my wedding. If you are interested, I’m looking for someone to take my place… It’s at St. Michael’s Church in Orlando, at 3pm. The bride’s name is Nicole, she’s 5’4″, about 115lbs, good cook too. She’ll be the one in the white dress.

 

[PedalUma]

I'd like to have an argument

 

[Horace71]

A man died and went to heaven.
He asked God why he died so young.
God said, "You're 82! Three score and 10 was allotted, four score for the strong."
The guy asked, "What about Willie Nelson, or Keith Richards?"
God says "I don't know...they were here when I got here!"

 

[ChezCheese:)]

The theme in a NY Times crossword included these clues (the punchline adverb being the word the solver had to supply) :

"You forgot to water the plants", Tom said witheringly.

"Oh, I just fed the alligator," he said offhandedly.

"As much as I'd like, you're not inheriting any of my estate," he said unwillingly.

So I started making up some on my own, and a couple a friend came up with:

"Too many pages," he said unaccountably.

He complained of being sick ad nauseum.

"That's the 'Dog Star' " she said seriously.

"Isn't that just the icing on the cake!" she sneered frostily.

"Haven't you finished sharpening those pencils yet?" she asked pointedly.

"Perhaps you would replace the light bulb?" Tom inquired brightly.

"I hate felines", he said cattily.

"Parrots freak me out!" she squawked.

"Pancakes again for breakfast," she said flatly, looking down at the plate.

So, what about you? Can you come up with some? The adverb has to be related to the main part of the sentence in a punny or other wordplay way.

 

[Taylor57]

The theme in a NY Times crossword included these clues (the punchline adverb being the word the solver had to supply) :

"You forgot to water the plants", Tom said witheringly.

"Oh, I just fed the alligator," he said offhandedly.

"As much as I'd like, you're not inheriting any of my estate," he said unwillingly.

So I started making up some on my own, and a couple a friend came up with:

"Too many pages," he said unaccountably.

He complained of being sick ad nauseum.

"That's the 'Dog Star' " she said seriously.

"Isn't that just the icing on the cake!" she sneered frostily.

"Haven't you finished sharpening those pencils yet?" she asked pointedly.

"Perhaps you would replace the light bulb?" Tom inquired brightly.

"I hate felines", he said cattily.

"Parrots freak me out!" she squawked.

"Pancakes again for breakfast," she said flatly, looking down at the plate.

So, what about you? Can you come up with some? The adverb has to be related to the main part of the sentence in a punny or other wordplay way.

You're obliviously a man of great extinction

 

[ChezCheese:)]

"I don't mean to claim I'm a great cyclist," she backpedaled. "I really am tired of people inflating my talents."

 

[PedalUma]

'I know all about Dunnin-Crugeer and don't have it,' she said overconfidently.

 

[PedalUma]

I saw these today. The yokes are a bright reddish orange. Nothing like the washed out yellow ones. These chickens scratch all day for bugs, worms, and seeds.

 

[JedidiahStolzfus]

I saw these today. The yokes are a bright reddish orange. Nothing like the washed out yellow ones. These chickens scratch all day for bugs, worms, and seeds.

I made scrambled eggs this morning with a mix of store bought and amish eggs from a local farm. You could see the difference between the two. The farm eggs were a dark orange, store bought a pale yellow.

 

[PedalUma]

dark orange,

And what about the flavor?

Nevada, Nevatta, Chicago, Chicagga, let's call the calling off, off. Let's call the whole thing off.

 

[ChezCheese:)]

I saw these today. The yokes are a bright reddish orange. Nothing like the washed out yellow ones. These chickens scratch all day for bugs, worms, and seeds.

$10 a dozen?????

 

[PedalUma]

Listening to the radio I wondered why Yukon was such a basketball powerhouse.

 

[Jeremy McCreary]

So, what about you? Can you come up with some? The adverb has to be related to the main part of the sentence in a punny or other wordplay way.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't like lemons?" he asked sourly.

 

[JedidiahStolzfus]

If two vegans argue, is it still called a beef?

 

[BlackHand]

$10 a dozen?????

"I was fleeced!", he admitted sheepishly.