spokewrench
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In “Thunder Road,” a pretty girl is sitting with her beau when she hears a distinctive sound a mile away. She says, “That’s Luke!” She runs to the parking lot and greets him by opening the door and jumping in. The beau moans, “Nobody can compete with him. He’s got the loudest pipes in the valley.”
Robert Mitchum tells her to marry the guy she just dumped. He isn’t being altruistic. If he stole her, word would get out that he was a snob, and that would bring heat from the ATF and the syndicate.
Harley riders don’t know that snobbery is best enjoyed quietly. I explained that my motorcycle was quiet because BMW was a sewing machine company. They bragged that they had balls. Eventually, somebody spread the word that instead of balls, BMWs had roller bearings. With no plausible deniability that I was the worst snob they'd ever seen, I had to abscond on my fast, quiet, comfortable, reliable BMW.
Lately, it occurred to me that pedaling barefoot might dispel rumors of snobbery. I bought pedals that instead of cleats or pins, use an 80-grit surface like nonslip tape.
Instead of balls, these pedals have rollers. What’s more, they passed the Zedler Institute E-bike Pedal Standard Safety Test. Something like that could lead to accusations that I think I’m too good to serve as a volunteer test dummy for a pedal peddler.
I thought, "What they don't know won't hurt 'em." Then I discovered that these pedals are standard on Specialized Turbo Vados. It’s only a matter of time until somebody recognizes them. I think I see a way out: attaching Dollar General tags that say, “Clearance $1.” Where can I buy tags like that?
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