+1 going to your local LBS and working with them.
Most stores will have the equipment to help measure up the seat to fit you properly. A small seat with sand built into the top for example - you sit on it and then the store staff can measure how wide your seat bones are - which makes a big difference in what size seat will fit you best (no, not measuring how big your butt is, lol - as I thought they might be doing the first time I went).
What you may find is a firm seat (leather wrapped or leather like material) is your best choice and fit - and then you can look into a seat suspension system combined with it will give you the best configuration possible. Instead of having the gel do the work of absorbing the rough road/trail below you, a proper suspension added into your seat post does the work for you and a better job at it.
A thread currently sharing seat post suspension experiences can be found here:
https://electricbikereview.com/foru...ension-post-for-a-comfort-upright-bike.35122/
On a personal note, I started out with Gel seats last year on my ebikes. I adjusted the PSI of my tires and did all I could to make the bike comfortable. At the time I was over 300lbs for reference so any bike was working hard to carry me around.
What I found is when I got up to higher cadence I would be 'rocking' on the gel seats and could feel it - this in turn lead to a lot of the soreness I felt. Also the seats were not a good fit for me, too wide, I would learn.
I went to what is now a favorite LBS. He had me do the sit on the sand thing and found out my seat bones are 135-140mm apart. We looked at his seats for sale and I picked:
Wide and well-padded model that the ladies really love! Recommended for pants sizes: LXLXXL
www.sellesmp.com
Foam and leather wrapped compared to my cushy gel seats - I gave it a try as the man had 20 years of experience and it showed when he spoke.
3 rides later and I was ordering the same seat for all of my bikes.
I still get sore of course, but not usually until 3-4 hours into a ride. Longest ride I have done is 7.5 hours and as I put more and more hours in, the soreness is less and less.
That said, I'm adding to my long distance bike a seat post - Cane Creek eeSilk is ordered - to optimize my setup and equipment choices.
Learning how important an ideal 'fit' to the seat (of your seat bones) and having your seat bones in constant contact with the seat versus rocking around on a gel or thick padded seat changed my riding experience for life.
Hopefully you find your perfect seat, let us know how you make out.
Cheers
Shaun