Your own way sexuality

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duggie

Active Member
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United Kingdom
This is a thing I just want to share to the crowd, just to get rid of it. A deep psychological sexual thing. Seriously. I remember flicking around one evening the tv as a kid, say 15. And I came across a Fleetwood Mac concert. I loved the music. I was in awe, just a kid. But a strange thing happened. The keyboard player Christine Mc Vie was totally the business, yet on the key boards, and the singer......the 'lesser', Stevie, well, not my thing at all, to be honest. But Christine, amazing. Tall, thin, lankey, superb, yet not upstage. Was there something wrong with me, I felt? I felt a cognative-sexual dissonance. Anyway, I kinda worked through it and eventually realized I do like tall skinny women, nothing else...............it focused my sexuality. The song is amazing, everything, but look at Christine.......stunning.

Has anyone else had such an 'awakening'?
 
I respect anyone whi chosesvto be respectful. Regardless of orientation . Live and let live
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This subject I find very interesting. I'm late 50s, and so I can comb through my previous life and weigh it. As a young man I couldn't.

There came a time when I asked myself what is it that truely floats my boat. The results were startling to me. Let me just say, like tomjasz, I am up for whatever anyone floats their boat. It's a wonderful thing to say that and mean it, to allow the freedom and so happiness. I'm glad I'm there with that. But for me, as a young man, there was so much new and pushed upon me that I was expected to like. Marilyn Monroe, she did absolutely nothing for me, but the unspoken 'pressure' that she should do something for me confused me. And so it has been, pushed at me rather than asked me. I suppose for the media to accommodate everyone's divergent attractions is impossible. I can understand that, but it does have an affect upon us. Women, too, they must wonder what should they like and do. And it isn't spoken about, a taboo. I feel sorry for lots of us as we are mislead by the necessity of the media.

So, I stopped and took stock: what is it that floats my boat? I was startled, the total opposite of the media's presentation, very much different. Film after film even now I am attracted to the bit part rather than the star.

I've talked to pals about this, but it seems to me that underneath they don't actually know what it is they truely like, though maybe in their private porn viewing they are more honest with themselves.

I just feel that the media pushes it onto us, and this is outdated. It would be no good asking people what they really liked because many would not really know them selves. I asked myself and was startled with the conclusion that i like only 1 in 3000 that pass before me in day-to-day life!

It's a difficult thing if this is the case. It is rare, too rare. It would be no good if we wanted near perfect, for there is the beautiful person who is worth much more.

But when I think back, I wish I had seen what I deep down liked and concentrated on that. It is just that what I get off on is soooo much different that what is presented that I should like. In my view the media cannot accommodate such varied tastes and we should take what they present with a pinch of salt rather that what they say actually is, because it isn't actually true.

I think a lot of damage is done with media stereotyping. I actually feel more sorry for women being mislead as they try to make themselves attractive. My heart goes out to them. I don't think it is the time now, here, to try and sort this out. All I can say, in general, for me, to women, is that be your natural selves. You don't need make up or fashion, etc. Just yourselves, plain wonderful you. That is what I believe blokes like. Jeans and muddy old boots and no make up, etc. Then we see your beauty.
 
As Margaret Wolfe wrote in 1878, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

An old axiom to be sure but ever so true today.
 
duggie said:
This is a thing I just want to share to the crowd, just to get rid of it. A deep psychological sexual thing. Seriously. I remember flicking around one evening the tv as a kid, say 15. And I came across a Fleetwood Mac concert. I loved the music. I was in awe, just a kid. But a strange thing happened. The keyboard player Christine Mc Vie was totally the business, yet on the key boards, and the singer......the 'lesser', Stevie, well, not my thing at all, to be honest. But Christine, amazing. Tall, thin, lankey, superb, yet not upstage. Was there something wrong with me, I felt? I felt a cognative-sexual dissonance. Anyway, I kinda worked through it and eventually realized I do like tall skinny women, nothing else...............it focused my sexuality. The song is amazing, everything, but look at Christine.......stunning.

Has anyone else had such an 'awakening'?
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I had a bit of a different take at 15 years old watching Fleetwood Mac.
I liked them both and envisioned a three_some
 
I think it's generally a good thing to interrogate your preferences and drives, sexuality included. To paraphrase Dan Savage, you could save yourself and loved ones a whole lot of pain working that out sooner rather than later. Unfortunately there's a lot of confounding pressures: religious, societal and peer judgement and the shame they instill, bigotry and intolerance - that's no small mountain to overcome.

From my observation identity isn't a fixed destination either: it's rare to see anyone work themselves out at, say, 25 and live that life for the rest of their days. Hasn't stopped a lot of people trying, to the determent of spouses, dependents and friends. It never fails to delight me seeing someone well into their 80's, 90's or even 100's continue walking the path of self-discovery.

I also see the up and coming generation far more adept than mine at figuring out early who they are. They have a fast growing vocabulary around identify, an assertiveness around what they want in all aspects of their life, and an recognition that few people sit at the extreme ends of a binary scale. One size fits all sexuality is not. Kinsey told us this over 70 years ago but perhaps mainstream society is finally freeing up enough for many to be open about it. Good luck in your own journey, wherever that leads you.
 
duggie said:
I think a lot of damage is done with media stereotyping. I actually feel more sorry for women being mislead as they try to make themselves attractive. My heart goes out to them.
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Every time I see a beautiful young woman with lips ballooned out with injections, I can't fathom how they think that looks more attractive than before - and how it will look in a few years, that is anyone's guess. "Better" isn't a probable outcome.
 
pmcdonald.........I agree with you about interrogating yourself; that is my reason for this post. But I disagree with you about it not being fixed. I mean, it's not fixed if you consider that you haven't worked out yet what you like, but I believe it is fixed. I mean, I remember al my life from about 6 that I recognized my sexual attraction, and it has never changed all through my life. It is fixed and very strongly defined. I'm a leg man, very slender thin legs on a thin body (not all, but with the right flesh/shape....puny). Boobs do nothing for me at all.

Handlebars........exactly, total madness. You have to feel pity for them. If only they knew it was the total other way. 'Lips ballooned out', haha (not to laugh at the plight, but just your description...ballooned out, haha, just is comical). Yes, blubber lips and bazzooka implants. Nuts. No need at all. Oh, poor ladies to have drunk the coolade
 
Gionnirocket.......haha. I suppose....thinking about it...... well, you might have something there I missed, but which one did you fancy most?
 
6zfshdb...........It's true, in the eye of the beholder, simple as that in all truth......but as long as the beholder is not, how can I say, externally influenced in their choice, and that is the problem.
 
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