My journey of Delite...

[Replicant Mouse]

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship

The mate was a mighty sailing man
The skipper brave and sure
Five passengers set sail that day
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour

The weather started getting rough
The tiny ship was tossed
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost

Gilligans Island theme song to just about anyone younger than me, an icon of my youth it seems

Hello all and welcome.

 

[Replicant Mouse]

Me - despite the moniker Mouse I’m just a wee lad, tipping the scales at 330lb give or take and 6’5” to boot. About 140kg and 1.97m to those who are non-conversant with torture and fractions. Target weight about 120kg which is skinny for me.

Like all good knockabout lads I’ve lived hard and fast, burnt the edges of limits and kicked a few tins.

Times past I’ve raced bikes, cars and boats, speed and competitiveness has been a constant feature and as they say if you’re not crashing you’re not pushing hard enough.

And physical work has been a constant feature.

Fast forward to the age that I am (58) and I’m starting to enjoy the price of such loose living. But hey, it was fun while it lasted.

Severe heart failure has been a constant theme for 20 years now, the osteo beckons including a hip replacement two years ago.

I struggle to walk far due to pain, swimming is not my thing and, ignoring the osteo in my shoulder, I’m meant to be supervised doing it. As for running or heaven forbid a gym - who on earth thinks exercising in front of a mirror is somehow a good thing? I prefer to drool and drip in blissful ignorance thank you.

But hey, I need exercise, we all do.


So... what to do?

 

[Replicant Mouse]

I’ve got a nephew, a pro bicycle rider, a fella who thinks a 100 mile ride is a warm up, who spends nearly as much time stretching as I do sleeping. He’s a rather fit blighter though, gotta give him credit but I seek slightly more balance in my life.

Even my brother rides time and again and he’s doing about as well with the osteo as me.

And as for the plethora I see labouring away on their analogues each and every day, crowd participation tells me there might be something in it.

So I look at bicycles.

Now I haven’t ridden a bicycle for nigh 30 years, after all it doesn’t burn fuel or make noise right? What could possibly go wrong?

In my convoluted logic I’m not concerned about the prospect of riding analogue, plenty of people do it but I am allergic to Lycra and so not ready to descend to the world of mamil (middle aged male in Lycra). Points to you if that floats your boat but I prefer my Lycra clad images to be rather more svelte.

And to be frank most tar is boring as and the stuff I could probably ride analogue doubly so.

What I do want is a fall back. And feel I need it.

Cause I can’t walk well the prospect of walking a bike up a hill is a no no. I don’t want to ride somewhere and not have enough in the tank to get home. I want to be able to explore areas and not be intimidated by that forthcoming mild slope let alone a raft of sustained climbs.

Big part of the treatment of my heart condition - dilated cardiomyopathy - is medication to rest my heart. I’m not certain big spikes in heart rate would be necessarily sound though I do carry my personal jump pack everywhere i go (aicd duly fitted).

I’m an adventurer, and explorer. Road racing and motocross around tracks did not sustain me, I get bored after 3 laps, I want to pick a direction and ride and see what I see, I like getting lost even though I’ve never been lost.

Now we all know that procrastination is a self fulfilling prophecy, that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, I figure time to put my money where my mouth is and invest in my health.


Looks electric every way you skin the cat.... time to go pony up.

 

[Replicant Mouse]

So a bike right?

Man oh man how many bikes are there out there? And brands. And styles. And and. As for opinions, well we all know the saying...

Turn to said nephew and he only knows analogue. Fair enough, go do your own research Mouse.

Oh hello EBR...

Knew I didn’t want a thing with a throttle, I’ve got a handful of motorcycles for that urge, just pick your speed. N+1 definitely at play there.

And I don’t bounce down the road real well anymore so our local speed and power eBike limits (same as the EU) seem logical and probably commiserate with my reality. Besides, isn’t slow and serene the new black?

Sure, I could obtain some modified and probably illegal to ride thing that looked like a bike but were more akin to a motorcycle but not for this task, not for me. Fitness remember. I view electric to get me home not get me there.

Eventually, much as you trawl the net and take onboard everybody’s axe they’re grinding you have to brave up and go walk into a bike shop. (Why indeed as an aside do all the staff in bike shops look so fit?)

Now I’ve had enough chain bicycles that I think they are designed purposefully to keep the whole bicycle industry sustained on a never ending trough.

Admittedly they’ve been cheap bikes but they’ve also enjoyed exactly nil maintenance from me - despite the fact I’m perfectly capable of servicing/fixing/solving any mechanical issue. Clunky horrible bloody things, unworthy of much more than contempt. Ok so I’m a snob... or maybe just time poor.

Dunno, to me bicycles are get on and ride things, maybe it’s cause I’ve only ever bought bicycles that shouldn’t have been ethically sold given they were so cheaply built.

Ditto my experience with rim brakes, they work well enough to get out the door of the showroom and forever after remained the bane of my existence.

Therefore these bikes have rapidly sat and rotted into oblivion till put out on the curb for some other enterprising individual to torment themselves with.

Quick search of the net and I pick a couple of dedicated eBike shops, multi brand affairs, figure they’ll have some idea of what they are doing.

First one I go to is low brow. I hmmm and hah and ooh isnt that nice but my heart is just not in it, my experience is you get entirely what you pay for so it’s a brief visit. I’m sure they cater to their market well but it’s not me.

Second one is the other end of the spectrum, sure it has some cheap but also probes the top end.

I am totally a snob. I hate cheap tools, I like decent engineering.

I’ve had enough German cars, bikes, trucks and tools plus employed enough Germans to realise you don’t try to outguess German engineering. If there’s an issue they’ve already worked out how to solve it, you just get on and use it. So a German bike would have appeal right?

So we walk the range, at this point I don’t have any real idea what I want v what’s in the market place but it rapidly shapes on the showroom floor.

Suspension. Pure and simple. I don’t need the aggravation of a rigid and at least suspension gives me the option of locking it out if I should ever realise the need. I’m not riding to punish myself.

Range. It’s like range on a boat, you don’t need it until you do. I’ve been towed in a couple of times, it’s not fun let alone the walk of shame. And towed my share in mind you, it’s the first rule of the sea.

Disc brakes. This was never optional.

I really hoped there was anything other than chains, derailleurs etc on the market.

Low maintenance. Number one box to tick.


Throw all that together and what do you end up with?? Riese and Muller to mine.

 

[Replicant Mouse]

Sat on the small to me display homage, saw it as viable but to order only and months away. Stiff hips so getting a leg over is always a challenge but curiously also found the homage hard to step through. I must be in bad shape huh?

Ok, off I wander and contemplate and research, want to understand the philosophy of the brand and decide if I am willing to wait so long.

Back for a second visit soon enough, looked around again. Bit more informed now, asked better questions.

Only other thing on the floor was a big delite with most boxes ticked ready to roll.

And look, it’s the fastest colour - just ask Ferrari.

A bird in the hand beats two in the bush so they say.

Know I want at least belt drive, igh and full suspension. Tick tick tick with a few bonuses thrown in.

Flash the cash, pointless waiting, and it’s got my name on it. I could spend months deliberating but it’s here right in front of me and mine to take away.

Mind you at this point I had not so much as even put a leg over the delite let alone ridden it but I know me, I’ll make do and get on with it and frankly want to be exercising now not in months time.

 

[Replicant Mouse]

Ummm, try again with that photo...

 

[Replicant Mouse]

So fast forward a bout of hospital then a couple of tannus armour later plus finally a leg over with a fitting completed it followed me home last night.

Today it is time to lose my virginity and relive my youth. The sun is shining, just waiting for it to warm up cause well, cold blooded and all.

My first eBike, my first ride. Whatever shall I find? There’s a cafe about 8km away so figure I’ll ride down to and debug my experience for our edification...

 

[Replicant Mouse]

Indeed and what a toy.

Round trip 19km and loose change. Eggs Benedict duly imbibed mid way.

Man am I unfit

Heading out mix of eco and tour. Rode home turbo all the way, I was jiggered. Managed a startling 100m of altitude on my journey.

Its a decent toy, really decent.

I’ve got a bit to do dialling in suspension and setting up the ergo but that’s small beer.

The nyon is flashy no doubt but trying to sort it out mid ride proved fair challenge, clearly I am going to have to have a deep and meaningful bonding session with it.

The seats sucks. Ok, in truth I suck but the seat and I have a love hate relationship going on as yet. I have no idea if we will bridge the gap. It’s too low and too far forward straight up, a bit of tinkering will remedy that.

Oh, stopped on the way back, note to self in future when re-starting turn the computer on before riding away, it’s slightly less painful.

Yep, happy. We have some fun in front of us.

 

[Replicant Mouse]

Questions, crowd, if I may?

Somewhere in my tinkering/setup I enabled emtb, is it possible to unenable it?

Share with me your suspension tuning secrets please? What pressure v body mass are you running? I’m only using about half stroke but am pretty sure it’s set at 135psi. The rear is disharmonious shall we say...