He probably doesn't have to find his ass with his hands. He probably has a bidet. It would be a great accessory for an e-bike because it would allow me to keep both hands on the bar for safe riding. I hesitated to install one on my Abound for fear of being considered a snob, but now that I have a privacy cockpit, why not?
If he doesn't know which direction is north, he must not have a Morin Vion Mini 2000. I believe they cost $250 in 1975, which would be $1550 today. I got one for $3.
In 2008, the black band to my digital watch broke. The local Dollar General had a digital watch for a 6-year-old girl on sale for $.69 plus tax. The pins looked the same size as mine. Because my watch was bigger, maybe on my watch those little straps would go around my wrist. I bought it and put the straps on my watch. They were long enough. They were pale blue with pink accents and yellow flowers, which made it the best watch band I'd ever had. I was always removing my watch for various tasks, then wondering where I could put it where it wouldn't be stepped on, run over, or lost. With those straps, nobody was going to walk or roll over it, and I could spot it in a flash no matter how far I'd thrown it.
At first I was afraid it looked gay. I didn't want to spend my days tactfully declining the amorous advances of gay gentlemen, however practical my watch band might be. I tested it by waving to the mayor and later to his boyfriend. They waved back without even noticing my band. That was a revelation. My watch band was not gay.
The husbands in the neighborhood readily accepted my watch band, but their wives were frantic. A henpecked trucker made me an offer. He would drive me a mile to the local flea market and pay up to $3 for a conventional men's digital watch of my choosing if I would use its bands to replace the girly bands on my watch. Under enormous social pressure, I agreed. That's where I spotted the $3 Morin.
After 50 years, the tritium has faded, but I wear a headlamp to read it and other instrument in my privacy cockpit. That compass could guide me within 30 inches each hundred yards, close enough for the GPS lady. (I don't know whether to call her Alexis or Siri.) I've discovered that I cannot get an accurate Morin reading if I'm pedaling in circles because I don't know which way is up.