@crazybikeguy Its not as bad as all that you just haven't been talking to someone who has done it
Mine is an X1 Pro gen1 with a a hotrod ASI BAC 800 controller, built by a Cyc dealer at the time. I got it up to about 40 mph (and the display was reading 40a and still climbing) before I chickened out on a street test. I was thinking about that hi rpm motor screaming away with a kart chain right next to my ankle. Its never been unreliable, but as I said I just chickened out as I don't really ride like that anyway. My motor delivers around 180 Nm. I took this picture when the bike was fresh and still clean, which it never has been since.
One of the things you will have to do is discipline yourself with respect to riding the thing. As noted you cannot expect bicycle parts to survive ... if you ride stupid. On the other hand if you ride a high powered mid drive properly it will be reliable, assuming also that you built it with sturdy stuff.
So here's part 1 whether you want to hear it or not
You MUST row thru the gears and never, ever even think about lugging the motor, because it will tear things apart... and thats within your control to avoid. Since you don't have a gear sensor you will have to lift during shifts. And more. But its second nature once you get used to doing it.
If you can ride a bicycle you already know how to ride a hub drive ebike. Not so a mid drive. Particularly a powerful one that can tear your chain apart. Fear not. The rules are simple.
talesontwowheels.com
Step 2 is another article that covers building your drivetrain with strong stuff. Steel cassettes with monolithic construction rather than separable cogs, for instance. Ratchet engagement rear hubs that have 16 points of contact rather than 3, 4 or 5 pawls. The ideal player in this regard is the DT Swiss 350 Classic Hybrid, which is reinforced everywhere, has a special 24-tooth ratchet engagement that is further reinforced over the stocker, and includes the steel cassette body upgrade which will not let your cassette dig slots into your cassette body like it will with an alloy one.
For mine, in 2019, I used the full SRAM EX1 drivetrain. Back then, it was really the only player in town for quality pie-plate-sized steel rear cluster and if you price them now, they are astronomically expensive. It was also really the only player for single-gear shifting, which you really, really want. Now, in 2023 we have multiple choices for single-shifting systems, and multiple clusters. This article was originally written in 2022 but I updated it not so long ago to add in discussion of the different steel clusters that are now available in 11s, 10s and 9s. Bear in mind 11s drivetrains are a tad stronger (!) than 9s which for years was pretty much the DIY standard for being able to take a licking and not get torn apart. You don't want to go anywhere near 8s or less.
Mid drives up the ante on the required competence of the builder. Read this so your bike lasts without things breaking or wearing out early.
talesontwowheels.com
On chains, probably the star of the show is the SRAM EX1 that is good for 8s, 9s and 10s. KMC 'e' chains are as good or better for high power, but the SRAM is cheap and effective. If you build with a 10s drivetrain, you can use an 11s chain and it will be silent since 11s has the same internal width as a 10s, but is a hair narrower on the exterior measurements. And again, 11s tends to be the strongest of the available choices. Stay away from 12s.
I'm staying away from a deep dive here and just hitting the high points as I already went the long way around in the links above.