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I can't explain what a spoonerism is right now - - it's time to go shake a tower.

Rumors of a food shortage at this year's Spoonerism Conference turned out to be a complete lack of pies.

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? . . . . . . Three: The right ear, the left ear, and the final front ear! 😂

Charge... 😣

When the defendant refused to rise when the judge returned from chambers, his case was found to be without standing.

People with large feet have greater understanding.

Did you hear about the award winning cow? She was outstanding in her field.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog of course, it's too dark to read.

My friend has fallen head over heels for a new girl. She’s only a humble whisky maker, but he loves her still.

RIP Boiling Water. You will be mist.

🙄 No, show her a man actually doing the dishes.

Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? De-brie went everywhere. Or is that too cheesy a joke?

What kind of doctor is always on call? . . . . . . An oncologist, of course!

Why are noses in the middle of your face? . . . . . They like to be the scenter of attention.

There was a flat Earth believer who decided to walk west until he fell off. In the end he came around, and it turns out the only thing he had to fear was sphere itself.

Did you hear about the man who lost the ability to hear low and midrange frequencies? He was in a world of treble.

Did you hear about the mathematician who hates negative numbers? She’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening. A synonym strolls into a tavern. At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

The roles of ‘nature’ vs. ‘nurture’ is an ongoing debate in the psychological field. But one’s preference for taking an elevator over an escalator is surely a difference in upbringing.

I’ve started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable. I hope to be a bouillonaire someday.