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"I went to my doctor because I thought I had a problem with arthritis. Turns out it was early onset rigor mortis."

I'm going to have lunch in India. I hear they have a new deli.

What is the smartest nut? . . . . . . The Macademia nut!

All that stuff's gotta affect balance.

Upon seeing the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine, the monk exclaimed, "I can't believe it's not Buddha!"

A layperson was visiting a monastery. She observed a man in the kitchen making potato chips. She cleverly asked, "Are you the Friar?" "No," the man replied, "I'm the chip monk."

This thread is taking a weird turn... 😦

From a comment on a video somewhere: "No wonder egg prices are so high - - all the chickens are in Congress."

Good lord! I haven't a clue what you are saying here.

Paint tires?? All you'd be doing is spewing microbits of poisonous paint as you ride! Don't do that!!

Now a thoroughly bike related video for your edifications:

From a comment on a Guardian travel article: A friend (we'll call him Tom cos that's his name) and his new girlfriend actually ran into GC [George Clooney] in a restaurant over there [in Italy]. He saw George go the Gents and followed him a minute or two later. Whilst washing their hands, pal...

People who cheat are admitting that they are losers, because by definition they are saying they cannot win when playing/competing by the rules. Me, I'm not into stats and I don't want to be tracked. I would sometimes like to know how much elevation I've ridden up, but I don't want to know it...

What is the point of this video?

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans...

An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked, "What a shame the old man is walking and the boy is riding." The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed...

Cleaning out my emails again...came across this list of groaners: Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little...